Tuesday, January 14, 2014

My little secret

Oliver is six weeks old today.  I'm not sure how that is possible!  And I can't help but think that many women end up going back to work right about now.  I am thankful to have two more weeks.  Actually, a little over two weeks so I can start back on a Monday.

I'll let you all in on a secret - I didn't think I'd feel this way - but guess what?  I'm absolutely dreading it.  I always knew it would likely be hard, but I figured, I'm a Type A person, I'm going to miss the workforce and having something to do each day.  But the truth is, I'm just loving my time with my little boy, he's only going to be this little once and it makes me sad to think about all I'm going to miss.  I'm beyond blessed and thankful that my mom will be doing daycare for me - and my parents live mere minutes from my office, so I can go see him at lunchtime every day....but it won't be quite the same.

If I could easily become a stay at home mom I'd do it in a heartbeat.  But it just isn't going to be in the cards for us.  Now this isn't to say that I dislike my job - that isn't true at all.  I just wish I could put it on hold for a little bit longer.  Mr. Monkey and I are talking about some potential options that might be a bit of a compromise, but all the cards would have to work out just right.  I'm not placing any major bets right now, let's just leave it at that, but maybe the cards will fall just right, you never know.

For now, I'm eating up the time I have left - even the days like today where he wouldn't hardly let me put him down for five minutes to get ready to leave the house for a playdate and was up every two hours last night to eat instead of the three to four he's been doing.   I'm beginning to be rewarded with smiles and lots of cuddles and those are the things I'm going to truly miss when I'm back to work.

Maybe tomorrow we'll win the lottery.  We can dream right?


  1. Of course you can dream, dear! You know that my fingers are crossed that all of your cards fall right! {{hugs}}

  2. I hope everything works out as well as it can for you! It's so strange to me that you're just the other side of the border from me, but maternity and parental leaves are totally different! In Canada, we are legally entitled to 12 months off of work, and most qualify for Employment Insurance payments of 45% of our regular wage. Some companies will top up wages to 95% for a portion of that year (mine does - but not the whole year). But as a friend said whether it's 12 days, 12 weeks, 12 months, or 12 years, it's all too short if you don't want to go back just yet!

  3. Going back to work is sooooooo hard! It is definitely a re-adjustment period after being at home snuggling and cuddling the new baby. All these instincts kick in and you just want to be home. That's great that your parents are still really close to work and you can go at lunch time in the meantime. Hopefully your plans all work out!

    Honestly, I wish once my kids got to be school aged, that's when I really wanted to be home (and still do). Working you miss a lot of school events, volunteering in class, things like that. I will say that being a working mom it makes the time you do have with your children even more special!

  4. I'm sorry you're dreading going back to work. I can tell how sad that makes you, and it breaks my heart. :(

    At the risk of sounding noisy, you have a large following and you could easily start monetizing your blog. I know a lot of people who live off what they make through their websites (myself included). Send me an email if you want some tips, and I can also give you some resources if you're looking for work you can do at home. Sorry, hope that wasn't pushy! You're such a good person, and I'd love to see you be able to spend more time with your little one.

  5. I am sure it will all work out fine Beth and you are so lucky your mom is able to step in and care for him:) I was the same when I had my first daughter....I knew my mom would do a great job,then we moved to another town so it was not possible to stay working. Have a good week:)

  6. Follow your heart what needs to happen will when it's time.

  7. THat must be so hard, B! I can't even imagine. I know I will struggle with that too. I would love to be a stay-at-home Mom, but you are so lucky that your mom can help with daycare! That is HUGE! :) I would love to see the baby boo soon! Sending you all my love!

  8. when my kids were babies, i was lucky enough to have a job that let me work from home 2 days a week. i did miss adult interaction, but i loved being home with them! i'm glad at least that you'll get to spend lunches with him!! hang in there!


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