Tuesday, May 5, 2015

A good life

Do you ever have one of those moments of pure clarity, where you realize something and just everything suddenly makes sense?  And does it happen at the most random of moments?  It seems that way for me and I had such a revelation this weekend.  At the swimming pool of all places.  

It was while I was watching my husband and son playing together, laughing and enjoying themselves so much that it came to me.  This is a good life.  My life is a good life.  I am content.  I have inner peace. I am truly happy. So simple yeah?  There's a bit more to it than just that.

I realized - what looks like a good life to me might not look like a good life to someone else.  You might look at my life and see the messy things, the challenging things.  Maybe you shudder at the idea of chasing after a busy almost 1 1/2 year old all day long.  Maybe the idea of having sticky floors and toys all over the house makes you want to run away.  That's ok.  I will say I don't love every single solitary aspect of parenthood - there are plenty of very ugly, very real truths about parenthood.  I will also say that marriage by itself, even without children, isn't all sunshine and roses one hundred percent of the day either. For me though, at the end of the day, it's about love. I wouldn't have it any other way. This is my purpose, this is where I'm supposed to be.  My life with my two boys is good. I couldn't possibly imagine being happier than I am right now.  

So now you're going, ok, what's your point?  Well my point is, it's ok if what makes a good life to me wouldn't be a good life to you.  Maybe your idea of a good life is a house full of many children, where I'm content and happy with my one.  Maybe your idea of a good life is no children at all, the freedom to do what you want, when you want it, and I totally respect that.  Maybe your idea of a good life is spending your life with someone, but you don't need the "marriage" label to be happy, and that's cool.  I guess what I'm getting at is, find what makes you happy and just go with it.  Don't let others get you down or let you believe that what you're doing is wrong.  And the truth is, I have been having trouble with that for a little bit.  But I'm kind of just in a place now (thanks to my working hard on my "let it go" mantra of the year) where I'm like hey, you do you and I'll do me.  I respect you, please respect me.  And I think by getting to that point, I have finally let myself truly be happy. I'm settling into that happy place and it just feels so good.  Peaceful.  Content.

The world may try to beat us down, but I still believe that it's a good life.  Go out and live yours. However it makes you happy.  We only get one. 

"You see caution lives far from my mind, and this life of mine, makes me smile sometimes" 
- This Life of Mine, Jason Falkner

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