Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Fear Itself

This week's prompt on Let Your Blog Shine is discussing our biggest fears and why we have them. Here are a few of mine - and they may even seem a little irrational, but they're just part of who I am.

Loud Noises - This picture from Anchorman always cracks me up.  But for real, I have a fear of loud noises.  It goes back to childhood, a couple of different things happened when I was very little.  An air hose popped off of a compressor in my dad's garage once when I was more or less right next to it and then some mean neighborhood boys liked to torment me by popping balloons almost in my ear. So basically since then I've had a fear of sudden loud noises, it's almost the act of being startled that's worse than anything - but over time it has become more of an anxiety ridden irrational fear - even if I know there will be loud noises ahead of time, say at a fireworks show or maybe that gunshots will be used on stage during a play - it kind of freaks me out.  It has taken me years to work on overcoming this fear and I'm not there 100%, but one thing did help me a couple of years ago.  Nate and I took a gun class together and that included time in a shooting range.  Nate bought me some AMAZING ear protection and there was something about being the person in charge of making the loud noise that helped me start to come around a bit on noises.  This isn't to say I love them or seek them out - but I want Oliver to experience fireworks, so I know this is something I'll keep working on.  So if you see a freak with big headphones on at 4th of July fireworks, chances are, that's me.

Bugs - I know, so silly and so girly right?  But I seriously cannot stand bugs, especially the kind you see in basements with a million legs.  Can they hurt me?  Absolutely not, but they just give me shivers.  If I see one darting across the wall or the floor I just get tingles and not in a good way.  I can't kill them, I make Nate do it.  I'm just waiting until Ollie is old enough and I can enlist his help in killing bugs too. (Side note, I'm especially terrified of bees - I've never been stung.)

Sickness - I'm not talking about major sickness here (though yes, the thought of that scares me a bit too, but I don't let it overtake me, same with thoughts of death, life is too short to worry about inevitable things), I'm talking about, well, for lack of better words, barf.  I can't stand seeing other people throw up and I actually fear throwing up myself.  I hate it.  I mean, who likes it right?  But it actually kind of terrifies me.  I was so thankful when I was pregnant with Oliver I didn't experience any morning sickness - morning sickness was something about getting pregnant that scared me more than the thought of actually giving birth believe it or not.  But as a mom, I'm starting to overcome this fear, especially given the fact that I kind of had no choice back before Christmas when we were all struck down with Norovirus.  I was surprised that when Oliver was sick I was able to just step up and deal with it.  And while I was going through it I was too miserable to really be afraid of it, I just wanted to feel better.  And we got past it and I don't live in total fear of it happening again, but it's still not something I'm 100% comfortable with.  (Yet cat barf bothers me very little.  And it's pretty gross too)

Charlie Chaplin - Ok, I threw this one in more for a chuckle than anything else.  I am not afraid of Charlie Chaplin now, but when I was a kid, I had a nightmare that Charlie Chaplin lived in my basement and held me captive down there.  For years I was petrified of him.  Where did this come from you wonder?  I blame this sketch from Sesame Street and the fact that all the monsters on Scooby Doo were found in the basement I guess!  I know, so silly, but hey, we were all kids once right?

For the most part I do not let any of these fears absolutely consume me, but they are things that I would say I'm definitely afraid of.  What scares you?

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